I recently heard about Salvia from a friend. His description of the experience was enough to make me think, "Oh, that can't be good for you. None for me, thanks. I'd like to keep what's left of my fragile mind intact." That caution remained with me for a few weeks.
Last week, G4 TV advertised a documentary of sorts of Salvia Divinorum. I invited my friend to watch with me. As I had feared, and at the same time hoped, dude brought "supplies." He had been keeping a small stash of Sally D for the occasion.
The clips of young adults taking their Salvia Divinorum trips were not unlike I'd seen on youtube during my cursory research. I knew these people were having an intense and indescribable journey to somewhere else, and returning, seemingly at least, fundamentally unchanged.
I decided after about 15 minutes that it would be OK to meet Sally (the Salvia Divinorum magic). I had my sitter, and he knew what to do...not that I thought I'd need him, mind you, being an experienced psychedelic user, but it was good to know he was there.
Time to take a ride.
I loaded the double-chamber bong with a small hit--just a pinch, less than a smallish bong hit. Note also that I was sufficiently high from some Grade A cannabis. I relaxed in my recliner, bong on the floor, readying myself for a safe trip into the chair. Took the hit, held it, and felt nothing.
After a minute or so I told my buddy this Salvia Divinorum didn't seem to work. I did feel a little warm, fuzzy feeling, but no real "trip." I wondered if the stash hadn't gotten old, stale, or somehow lost its potency. There was only one thing to do.
I tried again.
This time I loaded a slightly bigger hit and took what I would consider a good bong rip of smoking weed. By the time I set down the bong, settled into the recliner and closed my eyes, I felt myself going.
Of course, it's next to impossible to put the sensation into words. I later told my friend it was like being wrapped in a technicolor blanket. I felt the colors and energy emanating from and surrounding my entire body.
My mind was clear, as if in a lucid dream, and I found myself playing with and redirecting the energy surrounding me, as if being in the middle of a fractile design kaleidoscope, manipulating the patterns with my fingers.
Though I knew the experience would last only minutes, I still had to ask my sitter, "So, this lasts HOW long?" A few minutes, he said calmly and reassuringly. The television was still playing. In the same program about salvia divinorum, they began discussing real-life mmorpg gaming--dressing up and re-enacting epic mmo battles.
I peaked just as they went into a virtual battle, and it was as if their description of the battle was analogous to my Salvia Divinorum trip. They were walking me through the salvia divinorum experience, telling me what was coming next, while talking about something completely unrelated...or so it would seem to someone who was not tripping at the time. For me, it was damn real...
At first my buddy had no idea what I was talking about. Thanks to TiVo, I was able to rewind to the exact moment my trip peaked, and discussed with my friend how the content meshed with my trip. He got it. His reply was, "Oh. That's evil." He meant it in a good way, I think. :)
I'd been told there were no hangover or residual effects to a Salvia Divinorum trip. My experience was a bit different. It could have been memories of the trip, my brain trying to make sense of what happened earlier, which made it difficult to sleep, though it wasn't a fitful sort of insomnia. It was more like meditation, or a continuation of the lucid dream from earlier in the evening.
I did sleep OK after a bit and awoke feeling fine, yet still a bit altered. Functionally I was OK, and made it to work without any problems other than turning the wrong way on a one-way street, and trying to get in a truck very similar to mine, parked a few spaces away. I'm not immune to such stoner moves at baseline, so I couldn't totally blame the Salvia Divinorum. It could also be the herb.
That was Monday.
I spent the rest of the week pondering my experience, sharing with friends, and reading as much as possible on the 'net about Salvia Divinorum.
Though I was curious to go on another journey, I thought it would be better to save it for the weekend when I didn't have to do anything for a while. Besides, I was still a little scared...
Friday night rolled around and it didn't take long after work before I had gotten high, changed into comfortable clothes, lit some incense and packed the bong with sally.
Again, like the first time, the first hit was a little disappointing. I felt the warm glow, but no trip. I was painfully aware that I'd chosen to sit on the hard floor rather than the comfy couch. (without a sitter I was taking no chances of spilling a lit bong.) Music was playing, and I did notice it, yet it neither added to nor subtracted from the experience.
Somehow, though, I decided it would be a good idea to put on the "right" song for my next hit. Don't ask me why. I just love music, especially classic, psychedelic rock.
It only took a minute before I'd packed another, somewhat larger hit, settled into the couch, and let 'er rip. "Jane" by Jefferson Starship was playing. I've never been a big Starship fan, and can't say Jane was ever anything other than a semi-cool song for me.
Well, as my trip began to peak, the lyrics spoke to me somehow. It was as if the song was written about someone who knew the Salvia Goddess, and wanted his girlfriend, Jane, to experience the same reality, yet she refused, so he had to end the relationship. I knew at the time it didn't make any sense, and that was not at all what the song was written about, yet it was so real to me at the time. I knew nobody would believe me, and would probably deem me totally nuts...
I was perceiving the world with a new clarity, one which only a handful of people must know. I felt I was part of the privileged, all-knowing few. The music took me away. Between the soaring vocals and guitar solo, I found myself coming out of the trip in a full-blown rock & roll fantasy, groovin' on the air drums & guitar, intensely euphoric, enjoying the music like never, ever before...
The song, and my trip, were over in just a few minutes.
My thoughts and feelings were indescribable at the time. I looked at the dog and said something like, "Oh, fuck, Daisy. That was soooo intense!" She seemed to understand. We were communicating on a whole new level. It wouldn't be until much later in the evening that I'd realize I'd just met God.
So, that musical journey was really cool. I wondered what it would be like to trip to a different song--a song which already spoke to me--one with which I already had a spiritual connection.
I grabbed the iPod and started browsing. It was only seconds before I'd selected the album Abraxas by Santana. It starts with 'A' after all. LOL. Though "Mother's Daughter" is not the first song on the album, that's what started to play. I love that song, so that would be the one...
I made sure the dose was properly packed and situated, then re-started the song. What followed is truly beyond words, and this time left me questioning all which I'd come to know as "real."
It was like putting on a pair of glasses which allowed me to see things clearly for the first time. The lyrics told me I was one of the few, again, who could truly see. Carlos knew, and he knew I knew, yet the others left standing in the corner, not moving for nearly 40 years, would never know. He felt bad for them, hoping, somehow, to help them find their way to the next dimension--the dimension we both shared for that 5 miutes.
The song reached its peak just as my trip did. The world, and the music, were spinning counter-clockwise around me, like a scintillating vinyl album rotating around the stylus of my soul. I was the music, and the music was me. Again, the intensely euphoric sensation overcame me, and I became enthralled with my rock & roll dream, drifting slowly back into reality, air-drumming and spinning that disc around my head faster & faster until I peaked, then slowly relaxed, to the music...
As the disc spun, I eventually realized that the dog was licking my fingers. It was like she was licking my aura, helping the sonic disc to rotate a little faster. Freaking unbelievable. It was time to play the "phone a friend" card for a reality check.
Doug, my sitter from earlier in the week, was home and glad I called to check in. I told him I'd had the breakthrough and needed to make sure I was still real. It was good to know I hadn't lost my mind.
We joked for a minute, then I told him I'd see him in church...a place to which I've never been, and still didn't plan to go, though I now knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'd met God.
It was still fairly early, about 9pm. I'd had a couple intense trips and decided one more couldn't hurt, and this time it simply had to be Pink Floyd. The Wall has been my favorite album since it came out in 8th grade. It's taken me on many a mystical journey. Tonight would be no exception...to say the least.
After some thoughtful consideration and a lot of skipping through tracks, I chose "Run Like Hell." The experience was not unlike the previous two with "Jane" and "Mother's Daughter." I UNDERSTOOD what was being said, and again was being guided by the lyrics through my salvia divinorum trip.
I laughed silently yet intensely to myself as I slipped into my fractal dream. Reading the lyrics in a sober state might elicit some paranoia. For some reason, though, they were funny as hell. "You better run all day, and run all night. Keep your dirty feelings deep inside. If you're taking your girlfriend out tonight, you'd better park the car well out of sight. Because if they catch you in the backseat trying to pick her locks, they're gonna send you back to your mother in a cardboard box." Or something like that...
Anyway, it meant to me that the uninitiated, blind to the cosmic reality, would think I was insane and want me gone. It had to be our little secret. If I kept it so, it would be something very special to share with people I love--people who understand me--what it's like to be conscious of the divine nature of things.
As the trip subsided, I started waiting for the worms to come. It brought me all the way back, and again, sweating a little and completely giddy, told the dog what just happened. She was happy for me, and we had a smoke, basking in the after glow. I continued to wax philosophical for another hour or so, wanting badly to share my experience with another friend, a devout Christian, who has constantly bugged me about religion, trying his best to educate me on the ways and beliefs of his culture...a subject which still remains foreign to me after meeting God.
He asked me what I believed last week. Now I felt I had an answer, and I felt he must also know the same answer, yet he had a different framework with which to make sense of his perception of God. Still, I feared he would think I'd lost my mind. I stared at the phone for 10 minutes and couldn't summon the courage to call him.
That's part of my motivation for writing this account. I'll be disappointed if he doesn't understand, and I know he won't understand until he tries a hit, yet I know he shares the same apprehension as I did before taking that first hit. I really want him to see. At the same time, I don't want to push anyone into this experience.
I'm still not convinced it's healthy, without negative effects on a person's physical or mental health, especially if the person is not equipped to handle it, for whatever reason.
Continued contemplation led me to the conclusion that I'd tapped into the collective subconscious, or universal dream.
The song "Limelight" by Rush was the subject of much pondering as I lay in bed that night, drifting in and out of sleep. I'd had a nap before my trip session, possibly explaining why I was wide-awake, contemplating such absurdity at 2am. I was apparently keeping the dog up as well, and we continued our long, wordless discussion on the subtle nuances of reality, or lack thereof.
I decided eventually to get up, have a drink and a snack, watch a little TV and let the dog out to pee. Sandwich eaten, I went outside for another cigarette. Came back in, turned on the TV which was tuned to Satellite Radio. The song playing was...wait for it..."LIMELIGHT" Pardon my language, but there's just NO FUCKIN' WAY!!! I'm not convinced it was real, though I'm pretty damn sure.
Overwhelmed by the revelations of the entire evening, I returned to bed and slept like a baby until sunrise, then continued dozing in & out until 9.
I’ve worked in the mental health field for 20 years and have a BA in Psych. My dabblings in the world of psychedelics have provided some insight into psychosis. Salvia Divinorum was no exception. I have a client who has also written a “book,” quoting many song lyrics, attempting to explain his perception of the universal dream.
He has vehemently insisted that I understand and accept his reality, and has become very angry with me when I’ve explained that I don’t get it, but I accept that his beliefs are real and meaningful to him.
Well, now, I just might owe him an apology. Though again, I feel like I’ll be admitting that I’m insane if I say that now I understand what he has been trying to tell me. This morning I can definitely say there is some "hangover" to Salvia Divinorum. It's not bad, but I don't really trust myself to drive or operate heavy machinery. The urge to take another trip is still there, but I'm gonna wait. The real question is, what song will I play for the next ride with Salvia Divinorum?
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